Thursday, January 27, 2011

Shorties....Or why kids make you bald.

      Dad: Ugh I need to lose a few pounds.
 My Boy: You're not fat dad.
      Dad: I feel fat.
 My Son: Then stop feeling yourself.
      Dad: That's not what I meant.
  My Son: That's what you said.
       Dad: I meant feel, as in the emotion.
  My Son: I thought you said only woman got emotional when they got fat.


      Dad: Get your shoes on boy, we're going to the movies.
 My Son: What are we going to see?
      Dad: You'll see when you get there.
 My Son: That means it's something I won't like. There won't be kissing and stuff right?
      Dad: What's your problem with kissing and stuff?
 My Son: I hate the faces they make, they look stupid.
      Dad: Someday, you'll be kissing and making stupid faces.
 My Son: Grow up dad. By then I'll be old and won't care if I look stupid.

      Dad: Hey boy did you do any reading today?
 My Son: No I want to watch cartoons.
      Dad: I want you to do some reading.
 My Son: Fine, I'll watch some Japanese cartoons then.

 My Son: Why do you paint your nails Mom?
     Mom:  To make them look pretty.
 My Son: Its not working.

      Dad: Hey boy, were having Chinese tonight, what do you want me to order for you?
 My Son: A panda.

Youngest Son: Hey dad, can I turn the TV on?
               Dad: Shhh, I'm trying to write.
Youngest Son: No your not, your typing. If you were writing on your computer it would ruin it.
               Dad: Very Funny.
     Oldest Son: Very funny? How would you know dad?


  

Thursday, January 20, 2011

The nineties killed the video star.

      From the time rock and roll became recognized in the 50s it was always more than just background or entertainment it was truly part of youth culture. As time went on through the 60s, 70s and 80s rock's influence became stronger and more obvious. By 1986 music had come to define the generation. Fashion, language, movies, were all a reflection of 80s rock culture.
      Then like a poison arrow more than 40 years of influence was killed. The 90s and grunge destroyed what rock and roll had built and what it stood for. Rock and roll culture has never been the same, in fact I fail to see the existence today of any true music culture at all.  Don't get me wrong there are still great performers and music out there, I'm not saying music ended in the 90s but the great culture of it certainly did. I grew up in the 1980's and for those of you who didn't there is no way to truly explain how much the music of the time permeated every corner and crack of our lives.
      When MTV began in 1981 it was an amazing experience, 24 hours a day of nothing but music videos, it became a way for friends to hang out and be social in a different way, it wasn't uncommon for a dozen or more friends and acquaintances to hang out and talk and bond over the music, for the first time in many, many years TV became a social thing instead of a way to just veg out, and every afternoon with your friends felt like a party.
      When the show "The Real World"  began in 1992 it was the unwitting start to the darkest time in American history...The rise of reality tv, that's right it all started with MTV. They had just begun turning their back on rock and airing grunge the year before. The sight of angry, unwashed, Ritalin addicted musicians telling us how miserable life was while staring at their chucks led to a revolt of the 80s ideals, and the belief that we weren't serious enough, that "reality", and gritty dark pessimism was what this world needed.
        Just in case you weren't there let me explain eighties music in one word..."party". That's right 80's music whether it be rock, pop, new wave or hair metal was about having a good time, enjoying life, sex, love, and getting the most out of every single day of your life...yeah I can see why that was so horrible to all these flannel wearing buttheads. Grunge and it's musical father; alternative music seemed to be a mix of teen angst, self pity and the need to show us all how much the world sucked...thanks for that. Me personally I prefer my music to make me happy, to make me want to dance have a few beers and laugh, not go weeks without washing my hair, and hide in a corner until I slit my wrists.
      One of the most recognizable facets of 80's cultural influence was the fashions, this obviously includes hair styles. Now as corny as it may have been it was recognizable, Whether it be the flashy colors and weird accessories on one side or the long hair, leather and steel on the other when you see an 80s fashion statement you know it. It was theatrical and individual and very representative of the time and it's generation. What about the 50's , the 60s and 70s they all had looks that were influenced by the music. Grunge threw all that out the window and decided that the homeless look was in, it was so bad it killed that aspect of rock and roll completely. The unwashed look was followed in the next decade by...what? think about it what was the recognizable fashion trend of the 2000's? From poodle skirts, to leather jackets and greased hair, to long hair,bell bottoms, and tie dye to fingerless gloves, tight jeans, big hair and skinny ties to flannel shirts and dirty hair to what?
        I remember going to school and every single girl was dressed to the nines, they had spent an hour or more getting the right hair, the right clothes and jeans so tight they had to lay down to get them on, and not a single day went by when you couldn't see at least 3 girls in the lunch line dressed like Madonna. The thought of not showering, not putting on make-up or just throwing on over-sized men's clothes was unheard of, girls as well as guys truly cared about their appearance. Then when the 90s rolled around and I was out of high school I was shocked that so many girls were dressing like crap, had given up make-up and even started shaving their head. The psychology of not caring how you looked or purposely downplaying or damaging your looks went right along with the grunge message that life is shit, why bother.
      Movies and TV have drawn influence from the rock culture for decades, It's obvious in the musicals and comedies of the 50s and 60s, in the old beach movies, and the Elvis movies. In the 80s it was clearly visible whether it was John hughs movies or Cinemax late night, or Fast Times at Ridgemont High and a hundred others. You could see it in the appearances of bands like Vixen In Hardbodies, Autograph in Dudley Moore's Like Father Like Son, and White Lion in Tom Hank's The Money Pit as well as many more. Now if you see a musician on TV it's in a bad reality show.
       Once upon a time music was part of the party, a social medium representing good times and good friends everyone had boom boxes and wanted to share the music they loved with everyone, yes it was hard carrying a 20 pound radio full of 10 "D" batteries everywhere you went, but it was worth it. Now music is a personal thing, everyone has Ipods that only they can hear and our kids lock themselves in their bedroom to listen instead of sharing it with their friends. It's not a social event to get together and listen to the new music by a favorite band. Lost is the joy of the weekly trips to the mall record store with friends and finding something new, instead we sit in front of a computer alone and download it. I went to so many concerts in the 80s I lost track...every week for ten bucks a great new show with amazing bands was at the arena, it sure isn't like that now. I remember in just one summer seeing AC/DC, Aerosmith, Van Halen, The Scorpions, Motley Crue, Kiss, Def Leppard and a dozen others, and they were great memories.
      In the 80's everyone wanted to be a rock star, even the movie stars and athletes. Everyone was in a band, or swore that someday they would be. In our mind every one of us, with hairbrush in hand, stood before our bedroom mirror looking out at a screaming audience of fans who adored us...and threw their panties on stage. Rooms covered in posters of Quiet Riot and Dokken were just the start of what we were sure was our long rock and roll odyssey, we couldn't even imagine another life.
      Rock n roll was for some of us is the soundtrack to our lives, I remember making out with Robin to Rick Springfield, I remember smiling at Stephanie to Crazy For You, I remember Screaming out "Don't give a Damn!" to Survivor because back then swearing in a song was not the norm, I remember a dozen songs I fell in love to and a dozen more I broke up to. I remember every friend I shared them with, partied along side and every girl that reminded me of that certain song. I remember making a hundred mix tapes and I remember laughing a lot.
       The MTV we knew is dead, so is the record, the cassette and soon the CD will follow since all music will be digital. The experience of rock n roll has been stripped down to background noise and computer bytes. There is no more rock and roll culture or fashion or even a true rock and roll experience, there are no more spontaneous parties in the parking lot or at Andy's or Dave's, there are no weekly concerts at the War Memorial and The House of Guitars is no longer a cultural icon, but for those of you who were there, those who truly understand, my friends, enemies, and acquaintances, this weekend throw in your favorite 80s band, raise a beer, and toast to the fact ...that we were there.
      
     

         

Thursday, January 13, 2011

New Beginnings

      So a new year has started and most of us see this as a clean slate, a chance to start fresh in hopes that the future holds better than the past. I am also looking forward to erasing last year, hoping the new one will be better. It was a very rough year for me and my family as well as many people I know, and unfortunately I can not yet see a light at the end of the tunnel....and if I did it would be a train. That is not going to stop me from trying of course. We only have three choices in this world; keep fighting, give up or blame others. This last one of course seems to the most popular.
      It seems to me that the idea that everything is someone elses  fault is a little juvenile. I had an incredibly difficult childhood but I am not a drug addict, a criminal, or a blight on society, at a certain point you grow up and are able to discern right from wrong despite how or where you were raised. If you do bad things it's because you chose to. It's not because you were abused or you were raised in a bad neighborhood, or the man is holding you down. Take responsibility for your own choices.
      Life in general is hard, you will get knocked on your ass several times, by psychotic exes, by horrible bosses and rotten co-workers, by bad luck, bad timing and bad people but you can't let them be the reason you quit, In fact you should never quit fighting. There are others out there like you, other kindred spirits, other decent people fighting to be happy and keep their own standards of behavior high. Those out there who are societal vampires and feed on the misery of others are never going to disappear, the only thing we can do about it is not become one.
      So here's to hoping 2011 is a better year for us all. Here's to those of you who keep fighting, and here's to you.