Further proof....

      Back on July 9th I did a post stating my thoughts about the need for parent licensing and classes, you can find it in the blog archive if you missed it, or need a refresher. In any case I would like to present further proof that some people need serious help when it comes to parenting and just because you can make a child it doesn't mean you should be allowed to.
      Children are not pets, nor are they a way for you to make your stoner friends laugh, they are not a way for you to make a statement or a way to prove to the world how unique you are, and you should remember this when naming your child.
       Don't get me wrong I love different names. god knows the world has plenty of John's and Jennifer's and something a little different is a great thing, but there comes a point when you, trying to make a statement, are bordering on child abuse.
      This all became sand in my shorts when I started noticing a trend of parents throwing Y's and Q's against the wall and deciding that was a good girl name, or slamming two different names together for a boy and deciding that works. Let me tell you that making a name unpronounceable to the rest of the world does your child no favors socially or on a job hunt. What boss is going to want to hire someone whose clients can never pronounce your name or who will be a running joke in the office. Yes, that's right when you leave the room people make fun of you, I've seen it more times then I can count, along with the eye rolling and head shaking that comes when you name your child Chyniquya, Q'Antity, Uhlleejshaor, Q’ashaani-Ja’de or even Anfernee, Tay'Sh'awn and Oranjello. Just stop it these names are not names, they are not words, they are not in any way related to...anything... EVER and you are dooming your child to never rise above sales associate. Their will never be a president Taqiyya or Shantanique or Shanequa and right now the spell checker on my computer is having an aneurysm over these "real" names.
      Next come the people that think the entire rule set for the English language changes because they say so. For example the name Chyna, which I've seen a few times, is pronounced China not sha-nay. You can get mad at us all you want for mispronouncing it but it won't change the fact that your WRONG. If you make up new words and think the rest of the world should change the rules of the English language just for you then you are an egotistical lunatic.
      Speaking of breaking the rules of the English language, the first of two recent incidents that inspired me to write this came from breaking this rule. Recently a mother made an appearance at a local school so she could have a hissy fit and scream at all the teachers at this school for mispronouncing her daughter's name insisting on the stupidity and ignorance of the teachers for incorrectly pronouncing such a simple name. Now I'm going to type it here and then I want you to take a moment to pronounce it yourself....Ready.... A-ia...I'll wait you go ahead and pronounce it....................

         Anyone have a guess? Well according to psychotic mommy dearest this very simple name is pronounced - A dash ya...that's right in her world she couldn't understand why teachers well versed in the English language weren't saying the dash. apparently in her world punctuation is pronounced. so no longer is that girl you dated your ex-girlfriend she's now your ex dash girlfriend. Me personally I can apostrophe t stand stupidity exclamation point...see doesn't work does it...question mark.
        People regularly name their children after other things. Please be careful not to repeat these mistakes I've seen like Sparkle, Apple, Cinderella, Master, Budweiser, Espn, Scatman, Prada, God, Batman, Joker and Kal-El (for those of you who don't know Nic Cage named his son Kal-El which is Superman's alien name) there are many many more that would shock you but I was just giving you a small sample.
         The latest incident, the one that made me have to write this because I just couldn't take anymore involve people who choose their child's name because it's funny. I knew someone when I was younger named Rob Banks, while it was slightly amusing the play on words wasn't going to destroy his life. This may not be so for the children I'm about to mention, and I swear to you this is real. There is a local four year old boy who will proudly tell you that his name is Blue. That in and of itself isn't TOO bad. The mistake was asking for the rest of his name. This little boys full name is Blue Balls Johnson...I'm not joking. Blue has a sister as well, his sister's name is Giana which dad proudly says is pronounced jy-na, I wouldn't even ask for the middle name. I walked away in disgust. I believe naming your son Blue Balls Johnson and your daughter after her body parts is child abuse, and people like this have no right to be allowed to raise a child.
          You've now subjected these children to an entire lifetime of ridicule and abuse because you were trying to be funny. It's not funny it's sick and cruel and he should have his kids taken away.
           I love different, I tried to be different naming my kids but there are limits and there is a difference between original and cruel. There is a difference between unique spelling and making up your own rules. You may think your being clever but it's your child who has to live with it and struggle with it, so get off the ego trip and and use some common sense just like your kids will when they turn 18, change their name and never speak to you again....wait maybe they were on to something after all.

     
     
   

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