Thursday, May 5, 2011

Blessed are the 'geek': for they shall inherit the earth...

...Along with it's mineral rights.

      I've said for a very long time the original beatitude from the book of Mathew had been mistranslated and it should have read as my title line does, and I still believe it. To be honest geeks pretty much already have inherited the earth. We are all well aware of the CEO's of Apple; the Steve's; Wozniak and Jobs; and everyone knows Bill Gates name. Those men and many others like them are now integrated into the very fabric of our society and are worth billions. Celebrities are pouring out of the woodwork trying to convince us all how geek they are because now geek is chic. Jerry Seinfeld, Rosario Dawson, Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman just to name a few have all proudly confessed their geek colors.
      It seems to be a long stretch from the time when saying someone was a geek was a bad thing and people had to hide their passions to avoid the ridicule, now even beautiful woman are fighting for their right to be recognized as geeks. There are multiple web sites and blogs dedicated to geek and gamer girls and I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard girls complain because they were called "Girl Gamers" instead of just a gamer like everyone else. In fact, Team Unicorn; a group of beautiful and talented ladies who happen to be true geeks put out an amazing and funny video called "Geek and Gamer Girls" to prove the point. If you haven't done so go check out that video and their other fantastic parody's on Break.com or YouTube, they are pretty amazing, and not just models or performers they are the real deal.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TeamUnicornFTW#p/a/f/0/_eJmYKN_1QE

      It seems all the things that once got kids beat-up and bullied are now not only mainstream, but some are actually cool. Whether it's Sci-Fi and Fantasy, comics, video games, technology, or even clothing what was once just part of geek world has become what all the "cool kids" are doing.
      You have to begin a long time in a galaxy far away with the undisputed king of all  geekdom; Star Wars. When Star Wars came out I was in grade school and fell in love with it before I had even seen the movie. When the sequel; The Empire Strikes Back, came out I had just entered junior high, and it still just was not cool. Despite everyone and their grandparents having seen these movies, to get caught discussing them in any depth was reason for nerd abuse. Now it's hard to find someone who doesn't love Star Wars, it's actually become part of our culture and not just in America, but worldwide. Which still begs the question; How the hell does "Annie Hall" beat it out for the academy award.
      TV and film are now saturated with geek influence. The funniest show on television "Big Bang Theory" is a geek paradise. Shows like LOST, Fringe, and Chuck and dozens of others all have science fiction roots and are very popular with the key demographics. Although FOX TV seems a little confused about this. FOX has taken a novel approach to the subject by taking any show that is embraced by the geek community and canceling it in favor of a reality show that will cost them less but still net them a large audience. Albeit an audience of brain damaged sheep. Yes, in other words their audience from Fox (its kinda like) News. Sadly it looks like ABC is beginning to lose it's mind as well.
      There is hope though as talented young writers have taken some control from the stubborn old men who have run TV (into the ground) for several years. People like J.J. Abrams and the incredible work of writer/creator Joss Whedon who added a whole new layer to that cool with his intelligent but "hip" dialogue and the genuine charm of his characters. The fact that BBC America is now widely available hasn't hurt either since they have an abundance of great geek shows.
      Movies have been utterly dominated by geek culture for several years now. Box office records are being smashed by movies like Avatar, Spider-Man, The Dark Knight, Iron Man, and Harry Potter. Even some of the cruder more adult movies are geek influenced. Filmmaker Kevin Smith's "New Jersey" films are filled with geek references as he himself is an uber-nerd; naming his own daughter Harley Quinn Smith after a Batman villain.
      This will segue nicely for me to comic books. Comic books, graphic novels, and manga were once seen as a completely geek reading material that you would never bring to school due to fear of taunting, of course I never saw a pudding-headed bully read anything other than his detention slip anyway. Now they are easy to find in mainstream bookstores as well as the basis for a huge amount of movies, TV, and video games.
      When it comes to "comic" based films there are of course the super hero movies everyone knows, and then there are some movies where the general public may see elements of  their comic roots like; Sin City, Watchmen, Hellboy and Scott Pilgrim. Yet others have been shocked to find out movies like V for Vendetta, 300, Wanted, Red, and History of Violence and dozens of others were once comics.
       In fact one of my favorite moments happened a few years back while sitting in a bookstore Starbucks. I was quietly sitting behind three elderly woman who had gathered for a gossip session. The ladies began talking about the wonderful movie they had watched together the night before. "Such a great story", "What great characters" so on and so forth. Since the movie in question "Road to Perdition" was one of my favorites I decided to butt in...my way. Slowly working my way into the conversation I asked these sweet, wrinkly ladies if they enjoyed comics? They were vehement about how silly and childish they were and I was silly for asking if an adult would be interested in the kid stuff they put into comics.
      I just smiled with that "Oh really" smart-ass grin of mine as I told them that "Road to Perdition" was made from a comic book. The look of confusion and shock was worth the overpriced coffee. I swear one granny almost lost her dentures.
      Another cornerstone of livin' the geek life is video games. Of course now video games are a normal source of entertainment, and you're probably the weird one if you DON'T play them, but that is part of everyone becoming a little bit geek. Once gamers were a ridiculed group just like other geeks. Today everyone is gaming whether you're the tired old housewife burying your daily misery in the fields of Farmville or a hard core Halo player with elite armor. I don't care how much you argue that you; work out, and wear cool clothes and have tattoos, if you're playin' you've been assimilated and resistance is futile, and it doesn't even matter that you're playing Call of Duty or Battlefield because you know what? That still means you're pretending to be a soldier, with an imaginary gun shooting at other people playing pretend soldier, I'm sorry that's nerdy no matter how cool you THINK you are. Not that I don't love it too, I'm just not in denial about it.
      If you have a girlfriend on the couch waiting for your attention while you save the world from multi-colored pixels, that's geek, and if you try and pretend to have your girlfriend "helping" you by locating hidden packages so you can get an achievement or by spotting bad guys for you then; first off, she's a sucker for not realizing that you're placating her with busy work so you can play your game. Second, yup, you've got some geek on ya, and third, girls can probably pwn ur azz in COD anywayz n00b.
      Which brings me to technology. Once, not so long ago tech was something only for the nerd and geek crowds. Most people's tech knowledge was enough to hook up a stereo and could barely pass the level of setting your VCR's clock. Now every damn ten year old has his own cell phone that looks an awful lot like a Star Trek communicator, and not only that but the damn things are full fledged computers in the palm of your hand...and your mom's VCR clock is still blinking . Your cell phone now plays music and movies, surfs the web, gives you directions, plays games, fixes dinner, lets the dog out, and sets your DVR and burglar alarm remotely. The only thing your cell phone can't do is hold a signal when you enter a building. A hand held- all in one Star Trek like communication device sounds pretty geek to me. Your television isn't much different it's becoming an all in one entertainment and communication center. You no longer even need to leave your couch if you have children to get you your beer and an empty coffee can for when the beer has made it's round trip.
      Geek clothing used to be such an obvious thing that it almost seemed the kids were asking for a swirly, but now those same clothes are cute and fashionable. If you had worn a Thundercats or He-Man shirt to my school you would have worn bruises home. Now these same types of apparel are sold as cool clothes in stores like Hot Topic and others in malls around the country. There are even sites that specialize in geek wear, like Red Bubble, Cafe Press, and a personal fave of mine www.teefury.com where artists submit amazing work that is only available for 24 hours and them may never be seen again. How geek is that? A unique Firefly, Star Wars or Dr. Who shirt (just for a small example) that is only sold for 24 hours, that makes it collectible and god knows us geeks love collectibles.
      So now that the world has become geek oriented I have some friendly advice for all the bullies, and punks out there. Before you decide to take apart some lowly geek for fun, remember that someday that very geek may buy your bank, then refuse your loan, before he kicks you out of your over mortgaged home and steals your wife. Then he will have his well paid bodyguards give you an ultra-wedgie just because he can.

May The Force Be With You.
      

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