Apparently we raised poodles.

      Both my boys are very social.  Every parent-teacher conference we've had involved a discussion about the boys social behavior. Their need to get up and wander and to hold conversations at inappropriate times were always among the topics.
      The little one has no hang-ups about making friends, we can go anywhere and within five minutes he's fully entrenched in a half dozen new friendships. I've set him up with a couple age appropriate MMO games and I'm shocked at the fact that I get him started and walk awayand by the time I check in on him he has 200 friends!. When I jump into something like Guild Wars or Conan I'll be lucky if I feel comfortable running one quest with another player, which leaves my friends list as empty as the Buffalo Bills trophy case.
      The only time any of this becomes a problem is when company comes to the house. From the moment someone comes to door our youngest turns into one of those annoying yappy little dogs and I suddenly have to be the Kid Whisperer.
       Wherever the house guest shall go a small child will follow, so I'm just glad the bathroom door locks for their sake. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it is to sit down and have a child staring at you waiting for a biscuit and a belly rub. The actual doggy yapping though is replaced by questions and episodes of show and tell. The biting and nipping is replaced by attempts at play fighting and roughhousing, and the leg humping is, well, pretty much in tact.
       I know My older son is laughing and nodding at this, BUT, we went through the same thing with him as well. In fact on one occassion when he thought he wasn't getting enough attention from comapany he grabbed a pair of scissors, snuck up on his mother and chopped off a chunk of her hair.
      This is obviously behavior we try to discourage and despite the fact that my wife has seen every episode of "The Dog Whisperer" and "It's Me Or The Dog"...twice (groan) we haven't yet been able to break him of this behavior.
      Those of you saying "Hey, there's your problem you can't raise a kid like a dog."  well you obviously haven't raised both kids and dogs. That's why they make both baby gates and dog gates, as well as kid and dog leashes, not to mention toilet locks.Have you ever tried to keep dogs and kids from playing in the toilet? They're really not much  different are they?
      Try leaving either of them in a room with their food in reach, either way when you come back the floor is now covered in crumbs, and for that matter both will eat anything they find on the ground. How many times have you had to pull random stuff out of the mouths of dogs and kids because you're not sure what they ate.
      They both will chew on anything when they are teething and put EVERYTHING in their mouths whether it's food or not. My sister chewed the varnish of her crib and I have pictures of my oldest son eating my coffee table.
      How much time do you spend trying to toilet train them both, and until they are trained either of them will just go wherever and whenever they want,to be honest it's actually easier to toilet train a dog.
     Maybe the solution is to treat children more like dogs. I'll take them to the park to wear them out before leashing them in the yard and then crate them for the night. Also with my oldest son's social behavior I think it's time to call the vet about neutering.
      If I had to do it all again I'd just get a couple Huskies. They may not be able to do chores but at least they won't give you attitude if you ask them to.
 
     

Posted in: