My son's " League of Evil Ex's"

      My eldest son hasn't been around very much lately so I'm not getting as much good material from him (pout). So I guess I’m forced to talk about his absence, sorry buddy, it’s out of my hands.
      My son has either been with my brother or with his new girlfriend. Actually I have to check if he's still, unconvincingly, denying the relationship; even his little brother doesn't believe him. You haven't seen funny until you've see a nine year old step up to a 19 year old and say "Oh yeah, then look me in the eye and say that." followed by "Yeah, you're lying."
      I actually approve of his new "friend" (There, is that better my child?) First off she was reading my blog and such before they even started hanging out, and that's a definite plus (Heya K). Second is the fact that she can read at all, that’s a new skill amongst his girl pool.
      I always wanted him to date someone like Juno (minus the early pregnancy). Someone smart and funny and with taste that is down to earth and has a sense of self as well as self-confidence. Instead he usually goes to the other end of the Diablo Cody spectrum dating girls like Jennifer from Jennifer’s Body (minus Megan Fox’s looks). Girls who are insecure man eaters, with bad attitudes and no brain.
      I'm not one of those parents that believe no one is good enough for their kids, I just haven't approved of most of the members of my son's “League of Evil Ex's”.
      Whether his ex’s were here scouting earth before the alien invasion force arrived or had just done a stint in woman’s correctional, I always believed he could do better. Instead of aiming lower, due to his self esteem issues he really should have been looking for a girl whose family wasn’t featured in a Fox animated TV show…or a Fox reality show.
No, being on cops AND Jerry Springer DOES NOT qualify you as a television star.
No, it is not funny how much her family reminds you of the Soprano’s.
No, that is not normal behavior for a brother and sister.
No, I will not feel better about it when the penicillin clears up her “problem”.
No, it is not cool that her mom paid for her “tramp stamp”.
No, I’m not being racist; green with antennae and a mustache is NOT a race.
No, I don’t think orange jump suits are “sexy”.
      I know everyone of us can probably claim our own "League of Evil Ex's", in fact I'll bet I'm probably on someone else's list. But my son will see bright, flashing neon signs over these girls that read "EVIL" and his response will be to put on sunglasses.

Posted in: