Never....(Life lessons I've learned the hard way)

Never mix vodka with Kool-Aid
Never decide to eat Spaghetti O's for dinner before drinking a bottle of Tequila.
Never split a bottle of gin with your buddy before getting on the tilt-a-whirl.
Never drink Budweiser...That's it. just don't. I mean seriously it's disgusting what's wrong with you people, there is a reason it's referred to as the McDonald's of beers, now just stop it...right now.
Never assume that just because she has great breasts that she is in fact a SHE.
Never tell a waiter at a questionable Chinese restaurant "Surprise me."
Never tell you're psychotic ex-girlfriend "Surprise me." no matter how much she says she's "over it"
Never tell the traffic court Judge with no sense of humor "Surprise me."
Never assume that poor cute stray isn't thinking that you look like an over-sized  kielbasa.
Never assume that because the cop is fat he can't catch you.
Never play cards with anyone named after a place i.e Tex, Vegas Jim, Cincinnati, Scott Osbourne...ok he's not named after a place but don't play with him either he cheats...really.
Never take the unlabeled pill that "Looks like the right one"
Never try to be normal....what's the point.

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