Paranormal Activity

     I should start by saying my wife is pretty awesome, she's gorgeous, she loves sports, and would rather watch sci-fi, action, or horror movies than some lame chick flick.     Side note-Seriously ladies how can you stand this stuff you do realize no matter what they call it or who's in it, they are all the same movie. I don't mean to spoil it for you but the neurotic, needy woman...she gets the guy. See now you never again have to waste two hours that could have been spent watching Sports Center. Ok, now back to what I was saying.

     Normally all the horror movies we watch are just light-hearted fun for us, but we all have certain movies that affect us. Ive known people who couldn't watch Children of the Corn, It, Saw and others. For me I can't watch The Exorcist, and for my wife it's The Entity.
   Last nights movie, 100 Feet was apparently a little too similar to The Entity for my wife. Bothered at first by the movie by the time she went to bed, all was right with the world. I stayed up for a couple more hours cursing my insomnia. After watching some TV I wandered into bed, pulled up the covers and got comfortable. It took a while but sleep started to come. I was in that beautiful state just before sleep completely takes you. Suddenly I was wide awake while my still sleeping wife was pummeling me, fists flying, legs kicking and incoherent cries of panic. Suddenly I was Ralph Macchio having my ass handed to me by the Cobra Kai Dojo.

    Jumping out of bed to avoid serious injury, and because being woken up that way makes you pee a little, I was suddenly wide awake again while my wife just rolled over completely oblivious to her first round TKO and continued her slumber. She looked like a peaceful angel, I felt like Mike Tyson's wife.
    After making the much needed trip to the bathroom, checking my bruises, and wiping the trickle of blood from my face I tentatively made my way back to bed, briefly considering squeezing into my old hockey gear or grabbing a baseball bat to defend myself from my viscous 4 foot 11 wife. Sorry 4 foot 11 1/2, she hates when I forget the half, and at this point I'm a little nervous about ticking her off. I eventually managed to get back to sleep.
    When morning arrived, gray skies, pouring rain and all, my wife, with no memory of last night's unprovoked attacked was confused when she woke me with a gentle nudge and my response was to shoot bolt upright in bed and shriek like a Twi-mom realizing she was way too old to care about either team Jacob or team Edward. I explained the previous nights events to her, she giggled and climbed out of bed and said, "Sorry, I was having bad dreams." ...YOU THINK?! I'm pretty sure the next few movies we watch together will be Pixar films...just to be safe.
    
    

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